Terri had shown me the difference between love and care. She cared for the house by keeping up with maintenance along with casually cleaning it, but she loved her car as it was spotless and always had the new car smell even after three years of having it. Terri cared about her job to do as required while every now and then going above and beyond, but she did let her job know when she felt undervalued and deserved a raise or compensation for the work.Terri loved money, attention, and achievements.She was caring for herself, those she was close with, and her property, but I was blind to the fact that she didn’t care or love me. I grew up with her. She claimed to be my friend, which was nice as I did not understand that I loved her; more than I love myself. She was sweet, understanding, responsible, courageous. Terri was the ideal daughter, girlfriend, wife, and most of all woman. Terri cared for the environment, but loved the achievements her and her teams did. She always was credited with doing the most work, employee of the year, impressive volunteer force, and yet here I stood beside her all the way and she had not noticed me more than wanting to be her friend. I was there everytime she had an emergency, I was there for every heartbreak, and I was there for every funeral. I never went to a wedding she was invited to, only those who she was dating did that. Holidays were always “with family and friends” as her “significant other” never was invited to those. That’s how I knew she only cared for me. There is always a thin line between loving someone and only caring for them; same goes for obsession. My life was nothing more for Terri’s comfort, support. The love I had for her was consuming, and I stopped. I set her aside and started working on myself, my choices, my goals. It was fantastic as Terri started complimenting my work, skills, and dedication. She even noticed the previous work I had done along side her. She had started to notice me as if she loved me. The admiration was a bliss I could not contain the first few times, but Terri was genuine with her praise. It was unlike what I had expected. I felt honored to be seen, but it wasn’t enough.
I was offered a pay raise, accommodations for moving to another state, and a company car. I would be moving across the country, unable to be convenient for Terri to call. It was depressing at first, which showed through my work effort causing some of my co-workers to try and cheer me up. It was nice, even fulfilling to have friends take my mind off of Terri moreso than remembering her praise. It was as if fate was toying with me since I returned to my apartment to see Terri there. She was hyperventilating, breathing into a paper bag as she sat on my couch with the stains of where tears had been rolling down her face. I was disturbed, and Terri could tell as I watched her own face of weeping happiness faded into anger.
“So it is true! You think you’re better than me!” Terri shrieked loud enough that my neighbors clamored to their own doors as mine was wide open. I was frozen, flabbergasted as my mouth moved, but no sound came out. “You did all of this work to get my attention and then throw me away?!?!” My heart sank as the love and care I had thought went unnoticed was cataloged for her convenience. “How dare you! Even all those times I asked for your help and now you go out with those men?!?” Her once beautiful face I adored was nothing more than one in a common crowd. I was polite, asked her to leave. It was harder to call the police , and watch her taken away. I asked the question I had feared the answer for so long, I wept from her response.
“I needed you, not your love!”